To be honest

I just don't give a damn. Lol this is great. Boys? Fuck em they are dicks. Girls? To fucking crazy. Me? I'm nothing special but I'm changing that shit. I'm more then sex and someone to complain to I'm a fucking person and will be treated as such from now on. The years of abuse from boys that have put me in the mind set that I am only good for sex. Thats bull. Friends with extra fuck that come back when you grow up and want a real relationship. I'm going to make a drastic change because what do I have to lose? Tomorrow it starts. No more thinking about "boys, omg sex, does he love me too? I'll give you anything" I'm done being walked all over like a cheap doormat with nothing funny written on it. I'm going to college, I'm going to try to stop starving myself, start working out again, and being who I want to be not what the latest guy wants. Because once again frankly I don't give a flying fuck and good luck finding a point where I do. I want a REAL fucking guy who actually respects girls. :3 I'll be just fine. Drop them fuckers like a bad habit!

Woke up choking on my own mistakes.

Last night was a brand of hell I kinda wish I never had to go through...I think I've completely lost my closest friend of 3 years...He wont talk to me or anything. Then it led me to think about other stuff...like what am I doing? I just live day in and day out living through text and pixels. Really I just wanna feel loved. And I drove the one person I got that from away. I didn't sleep last night just reoccurring nightmares of everyone leaving me which isn't much different from every night. I really don't know how much longer I can keep this up. I just want a hug. Someone who cares, I give all of myself to people I care about and I am left behind for girls who are whores and don't deserve the guys chasing them. Feelings so sick, I'm exhausted...I have to pretend to smile for so long tonight. I just want to see one person there and I doubt they even know how much it cheers me up, if I can just see him smile. It's 10:30 am...and I'm already breaking down..this will be a long day.

Stuff and things

So I think if I had more followers I would have more interesting things to say I really am just talking to myself on here lol. But now I'm gonna ramble about the "date" I apparently was on today.So showed up at three to the local dollar theater because I am poor and classy like that, kinda stood there for a while then when I turn around bam, there he is. So we bought tickets for a show that was like an hour away and enjoyed the weather. Long story short Tron isn't a very good movie but its nice to have someone to use as a pillow during the movie. Really he is pretty nice to be around, haven't really had a guy be so sweet to me for no real reason. A 30 minute drive to sit around and watch me fall over when he pokes me is something. Doesn't even check out the girls in short shorts when I'm around...also almost ditched his friend it was cute. I hope we hang out again soon.

Somebody loves me!

So excited going to the movies today to hang out with a friend, don't get to see him much because of the distance but it will be a day of fun and ddr! Also it's wonderful outside today is going to rock sweet sweet ass. I don't have much else to say and I need to get ready lol XP by byz!

this picture make me giggle.

Like a brick to the face

Today I learned something, the band-aids my mom bought are water proof. Also if it wasn't for the people I associate with daily I think I would have gone insane. Like I'm crazy now but when I need them most they are right there to make things right. Tonight despite the hell I just went through I think it's going to be just fine. I love my friends, my REAL friends.

My black valentine

I think this holiday is silly, its annoying when you go the the store and everything is pink and red, walking down the street to see couples who cant get their hands off of each other, the tv specials. But It does give me a reason to post this to the only person who actually reads my blog so here ya go.

Don't mind me just bloging myself

I know I don't have really but 1 follower at the moment but I'm gonna post anyways! Had a good time tonight thought I got hit on by a guy I'm pretty sure is older then my dad. Right now I'm sitting here 4 am on my birthday. Woo happy birthday me -lonely noise maker- really all I want is for a certain someone to make it over tomorrow... I doubt it but finger crossed miracles right? UPDATE! Now talking to one of my favorite people but am really hungry coffee is apparently not food. :\  Okay I'm going to go or I will end up rambling. 

This picture always makes me lol.